I hope this doesn't come across as a whiny post or a "woe is me" post - I am truly blessed and I know that - I am just having a hard time finding balance in our lives right now.
I was talking to my mom yesterday morning - it wasn't even 8:30 a.m. yet and I realized that I had already ran 4 miles, showered, dressed, somewhat fixed my hair, fed Jack breakfast, changed 2 dirty diapers, cleaned the kitchen, put a load of clothes in the dryer and picked weeds in my backyard while making sure Jack didn't drown himself filling up his pool with the hose (I dont dare try to help him. "NO!! Jack Jack!!" is what I hear). I was tired. More like exhausted. 2 or 3 years ago I would have still been in bed at 8:30 am. I started thinking about what was making me so tired and I realized it was life that was wearing me out. Life with a toddler is tiring - I know that - but I feel like I am always in 3rd gear (1st gear??? 2nd gear?? I dont know much about cars) and starting to run on empty.
How do I find the balance to still do the things I enjoy (running, teaching the cycle classes, time with Lee and friends, taking care of Jack) without wearing myself down. Granted, Jack has been waking up super early these past few weeks and I have been in bed sick all morning (Lee took the day off b/cI felt so horrible this morning). My little virus and Jack's early morning wake up calls probably dont help with my need to just slow down but I know it is more than this. Do I stop waking up early to run?? I dont want to do that. That's the one thing I do just for me. Do I stop teaching my classes? I love teaching the classes - plus it's a little extra money in my pocket. Do I turn down invitations for girls nights out and dates with Lee?? I dont want to do any of that. How do you find balance??
I have this nagging suspicion that the one thing I have put aside in order to accomplish all my other things would help me find some balance. Quiet time with God. This has been a last priority for me these past few weeks and should be a frist priority. I'll start there and let you know how it goes.
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4 comments:
Keep me posted on finding the balance. I sometimes feel just like you. It is hard keeping up with life and a toddler all the same time, but it is also such a special gift.
Hope you are feeling lots better and got some much needed rest!!!!
I feel you on the tired. These boys are just tiring, no two ways about it! Take a deep breath! And keep running!
P.S. We're not going to do Va. Beach but we are going to run Richmond and a 1/2 the week before Va. Beach - in Ashland.
Whining is not what you're doing - you're declaring what every young mother feels daily. Everything you mentioned is important for your personal balance and you're starting in the right place. God's the only one who can give what you need to do it all. Just give Jack a wipe and a squirt bottle and he'll be fine while you study! (:
Finding Balance
I've come to realize there are 3 important things in our lives and strangely enough they all begin with the letter F. FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS. I would not be where I'm at today if those 3 were not in my life.
For this month of July my day has begun at 5:30, A time for morning devotions, a bowl of cold cereal, some coffee, a little study time and then off to 4 hours of class, 30 minutes of chapel, a short break, and back to my to study, write papers, study, write papers, and on it goes till almost mid-night. If it was not for those 30 minutes of chapel time, and worship on Sunday I'd be bonkers.
Last week our worship time was a service in the manner of Taize with celebration of The Eucharist. I was never moved by such basic service of prayers, hymns, and The Lord's Supper, no sermon. If you ever are invited to attend one I highly recommend it.
I guess I find balance from two sayings - "Rest in your calling." "And the best is, is God is with us."
Peace
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